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August 2005 farewell letter

Although I do not get the idea ...
I went to see these days and increasingly that came out of the fourth game came out with the soul, the first day I grabbed his hand tightly, trying to knew that there was you but you do not could see or hear , nullifying the pain you, my blood stained hands trying to help you move ... Marche to regain strength and then I gave you spill ... at least no longer suffering and stas, you look as if asleep in bed, your heart bad the even that keeps you but there is no hope and you're fading away ... say that not spend today. The last days
that was with you when you could still talk I said that would me next week and I did not, so I curse and he eats the guts not to have gone.
is a very strange feeling to think that gone tomorrow there will be , that you no longer again to see, and did not greet me with that of "hello bird without a tail" or dismiss me with a "goodbye white flower" as has been since I was a kid that every weekend when we to see you.
I do not ever count but the story of the good pipe, ke never You told me it was nothing more that a trick to make me rage, not play the domino or I'll aniseed balls ... I will continue putting your hat, but no longer will be the same because you will not be your who it qu ite to wear it .
not tell me more jokes, no real change me coins for when you leave the balcony smoking.

I swelled with pride when I looked and I were saying that was the true picture of your father, and I said to me about it, and there , smoking one of your actual listening to you ... your jokes ...
I can not get the idea ...
since childhood has been good to me and I loved going to see you and see you so happy you my visit.
I keep writing but I tremble to the toes, now I can not go to see and I am sure I will at your funeral with the family ... You'll miss a lot
less and I can not help the tears to think about all this .... Goodbye

white flower ..... .....

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I answer to you, or what I tell myself ...

And who cares if they fall one or two more, and all other cares, time passes and as usual, but coca is still worth the same and I now charge more, bla bla bla, I like to digress, I decide to stay at home for months without a social life because society makes me sick, and now I decide to leave everything I can and more, and too much alcohol makes me vomit. I want to live forever to see them all die so many deaths will enjoy, others will hurt, collateral damage ...
The anguish in the breast will always be, that fucking vacuum is not filled by a lot of drugs that target, but ... and who cares, live with it and take the ass otherwise.
I like to walk barefoot and feel the cold reaching begins in the soles of my feet and ending with a cramp in my teeth, today is nice day, my emotional states change rapidly, I feel fine now.
And you say we're just friends, but as you mention do not hear you, I read your lips because I can not stop looking at them thinking again and again you need to know. I want to try.

I still got an hour to leave work, I get bored and want to smoke ... I have no snuff, stupid auto no-smoking policy more than two cigarettes a day, I'm irritated. I get angry, what where your lips refusing a kiss?
If I think too much it hurts my brain, I notice every thought releasing a slight discharge Sometimes I click behind the eyes.

and walk along the beach in the rain, and go into the sea ... Where are those lips? ... and never return.

for trouble in the chest, that fucking empty ... never goes away.